Spider & Yellow Jacket: Sharing Creativity vs. Spreading Pain

The Story

As I have started framing the shape of my new business venture, Mindful Technology Consultants, I have enjoyed talking with those I meet along the way. A few weeks ago I had coffee with a business coach I'd met at a regional networking lunch. Just setting out on her own journey, we shared the joys and challenges in getting clear about our individual paths. We also talked about our personal vision, mission, and the potentials for earning a living doing what calls our hearts.

We also shared bits of individual lives, our past experiences, and the challenges which had propelled us both into finding a new way of working. I shared a bit about my technology use and explorations with devices, utilizing my iPhone to capture her business card and my iPad to take notes about our chat. Our conversation, while touching on difficult lessons learned, remained very positive - aiming at a sharing of our solutions rather than descending into a complaint-and-blame-fest.

As we sat outdoors enjoying our drinks in the late autumn sunshine (we both noted the rare gift), we were visited by two insects. A yellow jacket appeared and buzzed back and forth between us, eventually leaving us alone, flying away as we did nothing to aggravate it. At one point my companion also noticed a small spider crawling up the lapel of my jacket. I gently lifted the spider down to the ground, releasing it to go about its business of adventure - perhaps to the task of creating a new web.

The Technology 

I've been thinking a lot about the way we use technology to communicate in written form. In particular, I've looked at the way in which the immediacy of technological tools makes it so easy to send off messages and responses without fully thinking through the situation or about an appropriate response.  The advent of email, texting, Facebook and Twitter have offered us the two-edged-sword-opportunity to communicate in written form in both positive and negative ways.

I'm sure we've all had the experience of receiving an email written in all capital letters, which according to "nettiquite" guides is considered to be yelling.  Whether intentional or accidental, these communications do have the tendency to to put us on the defensive - to prompt hasty and sometimes negative responses in return.  Perhaps you've also had the experience of reading a Tweet or Facebook post where someone shares a brief snippet about a global violation of civil liberties, the impact of a natural disaster, or a story of personal tragedy.  Are you aware of the ways that those communications made you feel?  What was your response?

In exploring technology with teachers for the past ten years, I have sometimes charged full steam ahead with my recommendations on tools and methods.  In the past few years, however, I've found myself slowing down.  As I've come to recognize the potential of technology to help or harm, I've become more cautious about how I use technology, looking at my purpose and motivation.  As often as I can, I now seek to use technology as a means to create possibility, to share potential, to increase positive outcomes in the world.

Connections

Seeing the yellow jacket and the spider helped me to remember the two sides of the technology coin.  In many mindfulness circles, awareness of breath is used to help quiet the mind.  Slowing down, quieting the inner dialogue, and breathing have helped me to become more aware of what I am doing and saying with technology - creating more positive webs of influence.  Breathing has also allowed me to become more reflective - to notice when I've stung someone, spreading anger or pain, allowing me to take responsibility for my actions.

I learned this awareness practice most profoundly from observing the lived embodiment of the principles in an accomplished mentor.  She had the unique ability to share her wisdom and learning about difficult situations in ways that offered only the nugget of the story, minus the pain and drama of her past lived situations.  She was so effective at sharing only her positive learning outcomes, that for a time I mistakenly thought she actually never had any pain, challenge, or difficulty come into her life!  I can still recall her method of picking out the high points and positives from my long complaining emails  - urging me to focus on what was good, what I could accomplish, and where I was growing.

My mentor's simple modeling of what Buddhists call "right speech" and "right action" have had a tremendous impact on me, my learning, and the path of work I aim to follow.  In showing me how to share my stories in positive ways through her right use of email, she has inspired me to do the same with all my uses of technology.  Engaging the metaphor of yellow-jacket and spider is a potent reminder for me - a call to creating possibility (as in the spider who weaves its web) as opposed to spreading pain (as in the yellow-jacket stinks those who irritate it).

Who has shown you the best ways to utilize your technologies to create possibility?  What lessons have you learned that we all could benefit from hearing?  Can you share the nugget of your story minus the pain?  We all look forward to your responses, your wisdom, and the ensuing discussion!

Images courtesy of Pixabay: http://pixabay.com